would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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