no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
