I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think people are normalizing furries
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
