Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
