Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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