I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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