Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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