I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
