i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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