i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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