do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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