He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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