Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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