i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
