her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
