I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize