I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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