dude i'm inner monologue high
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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