You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
