Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so let's talk penis.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
