just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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