the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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