im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
one two three fourrrrnication!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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