we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
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I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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