Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize