Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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