you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
