I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
