so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
