there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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