Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
