Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
