my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
