I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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