we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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