saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
