Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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