I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
