I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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