Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
