Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
