Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
how does that bad decision feel?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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