I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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