I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
