In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
