You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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