I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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