Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
