Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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