So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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