Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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