Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
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