i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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