she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
