I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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