who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The uberlube is also flammable
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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