On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
