Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
