Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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