Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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