'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
