she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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